I Need You Here
by iloveyoucalzona
Summary: A few missing details in Callie and Arizona's break up scene in 6x21 "How Insensitive". Originally meant to be a one shot, but I think I'm going to continue it for the next few episodes! Hope you like it! Let me know what you think :)
1. Chapter 1

**I added a bit to the break up scene in 6x21 "How Insensitive".**

**Callie's POV**:

I walk through the door of my apartment with determination, finding Arizona sitting on the couch, looking as beautiful as ever.

"Hey!" Arizona calls to me as I walk into the room. "We scored! My cousin said we can use their timeshare. So, Fiji. We can either at the end of this month, or we can save up three weeks of time and rearrange our surgical schedules and go at the end of next month."

I hold up my hand, the one with the patient's neatly written phone number on it. I sigh.

"What's that?" Arizona asks, confused. She's still smiling.

I take a deep breath. "It's this cute girl's number. And I can't get it off."

Arizona's face falls and she straightens. She's still confused, but can feel our conversation taking a turn for the worse.

"I- I'm not going to use it, I don't want to use it," I assure her.

She looks at me questioningly. _God, this is hard._

"But, I can't stop wondering if maybe she wants a baby one day," I quickly finish. I finally look up at her, gauging her reaction. And, I'm horrified with the look I'm met with. Sadness. Hurt.

Arizona sighs. She slowly shakes her head.

"I love you. Everything about you." I try to smile. I take another deep breath. _God, why is this so hard? _

I continue: "But there's this one thing that I need. And I can't change it, and I can't ask you to change—I don't want you to change." By now, the tears are falling.

"I can't be the one who keeps you from having a baby," Arizona replies.

We look everywhere but at one another, trying to avoid seeing the pain in each other's eyes.

"I love you, too," Arizona croaks. But, this time, I don't feel the usual sense of warmth I usually feel upon hearing her say those words. "And, we can keep going..."

"I don't know where we're going!" I interrupt, tears welling in my eyes.

"Come here," she whispers. She closes her computer and moves it aside.

I join her on the couch, and before I know it she's in my arms and kissing me fiercely. Passionately. Her lips say all the words she couldn't say aloud. And I kiss back, because I know this might be the last time. I wish I could stay here with her like this for all of eternity; I wish we weren't in this place. She pulls away too quickly.

"What are we going to do?" I whimper.

"Well, I'm going to get my stuff together," she says.

My breath hitches in my throat._ So, this is the end._ We pull each other close.

"And what? We'll just..." I can't finish.

"We'll see each other at work," Arizona kisses my neck. I keep holding onto her, like she's my lifeline. In a way, she is.

"I'm so sorry," I sob."I love you!" I pull her impossibly closer.

"Me too, me too," she echoes in reply.

And then, just like that, Arizona pulls away. She stands up, walks towards our (well, I suppose it's mine now) bedroom, and I hear the opening and shutting of drawers as she gathers her things together. Somehow, I find the strength to get up from the couch and follow her inside.

I sit on the bed and defeat as she makes a pile of all her clothes. Her favorite pajamas—the ones with cartoon frogs on them, a gift from a patient. Her lacey underwear. Her camisoles.

She walks back out of the bathroom with her blow dryer in hand. I want to hold her. But, instead, I just watch her from where I'm seated on the corner of the bed. That's all I can do. I begin thinking about our first kiss—in the bathroom at Joe's. Our first time—after George's wedding. She pulls me from my thoughts, saying:

"Do you have a plastic bag or something I can put this stuff in?"

"Oh, yeah." I reply in a voice I don't recognize as my own. "I'll be right back," I whisper, and quickly make my way towards the kitchen, in search of a plastic bag.

I bring it back and she thanks me. She tries to smile, but it doesn't make it up to her eyes. I can see how distraught she is over this, too.

"Well, that's it," she announces. "I better go."

And as much as I wish I could hold her and keep her here forever, I know we're done. Because I want a baby and she doesn't. I need a baby. And there's no use staying with her if we don't want the same future. I just have to keep reminding myself that there are other people out there, other people who want the same things with me.

I thought Arizona was the love of my life, but maybe that's not true. No, I know she is. But, I just have to stay strong until she's gone. I can break down after she's out the door.

"Yeah," I reply, hurried now. My tears are going to start falling any second now, and I can't let her see me cry. Not now.

We get to the door, and Arizona tries smiling again. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow," she says.

"Yeah," I mumble. "I'll see you tomorrow."

With one last look at me, she turns around and walks away. I slowly shut the door.

I can't breathe.


	2. Chapter 2

**Arizona's POV:**

I can't even make it home. I'm crying so hard that I can't even see, and have to pull over to the side of the road. I sit in my pitch black car for what feels like hours, just sobbing into my hands. I want to slam my head into the steering wheel.

Why am I the way I am? Why don't I want kids?

All I want is to be with Callie. Forever. I want to buy a house, get some chickens, travel, have lots of sex. But kids? No. I already see kids all day! Why would I want to have to deal with more at home?

Finally, when I have no tears left, I turn the car on and finish driving home. But, when I walk inside, I don't feel any better. I wish Callie was here. I wish I was there. I just want to be with her.

But it couldn't have worked. It wouldn't be fair to either of us. If we had stayed together, I either would have been unhappy with children, or she would have been unhappy without them. Our break up was inevitable. I put the stuff I got from Callie's house into my dresser drawers. I don't even change my clothes or take off my shoes. I lie on top of my already made bed, wishing Callie was here. I curl up into a ball.

* * *

I wake up late, reaching towards the other side of my bed to grab Callie's hand. All my hand hits is the bed spread. Then, I remember: Callie isn't here. And she's not going to be ever again.

Well, great. This sure isn't the start of a very good day. I have the day off, so I make breakfast, tidy up my lonely apartment, do some laundry. After a day that feels never-ending, I start getting dressed go to Meredith and Derek's party.

Unfortunately, (fortunately?) Callie will be there. Which means that I need to look good, show her everything she's missing. Right? Even though this may be my fault. Even though I know she would happily have kids with me if that's what I wanted. Am I a monster for not giving in? No, I just know what I want. I want Spain! Margaritas. Her in a bikini. That's what I want. Not breast feeding, spittle, baby food. Yuck.

Finally, I decide on my tight, black dress. I decide to wear my hair down and naturally. She likes my curls. Not that it matters, since we're broken up.

I drive over to Meredith's, talking myself up the whole way.

_Arizona, you are hot. Sure, things are over with Callie, but you'll find someone else! It doesn't matter, you always bounce back. You are a good man in a storm and you've been with tons of women. If you see her, just act like you don't care. You are hot and you will move on._

* * *

**Callie's POV:**

After a horrible day of dirty tissues and tears, I get to the party at Derek and Meredith's. Before I can stop myself, I look over at Arizona. My eyes are drawn to her right away. God, she looks good. Breathtakingly stunning. As always, I'm unable to take my eyes off her.

After greeting everyone and getting a drink, I walk into the living room, where she is, but stand off to the side a bit so that I can see her but she can't really see me. As I drink my tequila and stare at her, Mark walks over to me.

"You're staring again," he notes.

_I can't help it_, I think. _Just look at her._

Her hair falls into little tendrils, just passing her shoulders. Her black dress hugs her curves.

"I'm not," I disagree unconvincingly.

"Wanna go back to my place and do it in the shower?" he jokes, "Teddy's in surgery tonight."

I roll my eyes at him. "I'm not in the mood for your jokes right now, okay?" I just can't deal with him sometimes. He's never serious. My heart just got ripped out of my chest by a blonde woman and he's here talking about sex, as usual. I walk away.

* * *

**Arizona's POV:**

I see Callie staring at me. She's never been known for being discreet. I can see how she's trying not to let me know that she's here- standing off to the side, near the door. I'm trying to keep up my side of the conversation with a fellow doctor, but it's so hard when the hottest woman in the world won't stop staring at me with her expressive eyes.

I watch as Mark walks over to her, and then as she leaves. _What did he say to her to piss her off so much? Was it about me? How was it bad enough to make her leave the party before it even really starts?_

I've now missed the entire conversation and just smile before excusing myself. _Why did Callie leave?_


	3. Chapter 3

**I hope the way I wrote this isn't confusing to anyone, it was tough to do. Anyway, keep letting me know what you think! I hope you all like it.**

**Arizona's POV:**

The next day, I go into work early. I do this to avoid seeing Callie- I sure hope she doesn't try to do the same.

As I walk in, I see Teddy and she motions me over.

"Hey!" she greets me with excitement, "You'll never believe what happened last night."

I laugh. "What happened?"

We pass nurses and orderlies as we walk towards the peds floor.

"I was on my way to Mark's after the party because I was really, really horny, and guess what?" She answers her own question: "Reed Adamson was in his bed!"

My jaw drops.

"Yeah, that's how I felt. And when Mark proposed a threesome, she looked at me, like she was thinking about it."

We laugh.

"Well, she is cute," I reply. "Like a brunette surgical Tinkerbell."

Owen walks up beside me. "Who's that?" he asks, butting in.

"I walked in on Mark and Reed Adamson last night," Teddy explains.

I laugh.

"Sloan cheated on you?" Owen asks, perplexed.

"No, he didn't cheat on me. We were dating non-exclusively. He's not my boyfriend," Teddy justifies.

All of a sudden, my pager beeps and I say, "Oh. Hey. I gotta run. I'll hear the rest later?" And walk away before I can hear the two of them get into it anymore.

Hearing about Teddy's twisted love life will hopefully help me feel better today- or at least not as alone.

* * *

**Callie's POV:**

Today, an elderly woman came into the ER, along with an elderly man, and it turns out that they knew each other once upon a time. It was so interesting to hear their story. It made me believe in love again to hear them talk about each other.

It turns out that the woman had been his fiance's roommate in college. They were best friends and she was going to be the maid of honor in their wedding, but she disappeared.

The woman told us that she had planned to write and explain to her best friend why she couldn't be there, but didn't know how to say, "I couldn't stand up in your wedding because I fell in love with your fiance."

They had first met when they were both at a party on a clear, summer night. Henry, the man, had gone outside, and there was Betty, the woman, looking up at the stars. It was love at first sight. They were both smitten.

After running tests on Betty, she confides in Lexie and I that, "being with Henry, I felt complete."

I look at her in awe and can't help but think of Arizona. With her, I, too, feel complete. Felt complete.

Betty tells us that she chose not to be with Henry in order to salvage her friendship with Irene, his fiance and her best friend. "I told myself there would be plenty of Henries in my life."

"And were there?" I ask, with a bit of desperation in my voice. Would I ever find someone like Arizona?

"My husband was a good man- kind, funny, smart. But he was no Henry. There was never another Henry."

That was not what I wanted to hear. What if, by breaking up with Arizona, I had ended the best relationship I'll ever have? What if she is the love of my life- the only one for me?

* * *

**Arizona's POV:**

I try to keep my focus on my main patient today. That's all I can do to keep from bawling my eyes out and possibly drowning in my own tears. Anyway, today I definitely have an interesting case.

As we do Haley's CAT scan, Derek, Alex, and I discuss the situation.

"I think she threatened to stab a syringe into her own heart, so I'm leaning toward crazy," I finish.

"Scans are up," Alex says.

"There's nothing in the frontal lobe," Derek remarks as he reads the scans of her brain.

"Or the temporal parietal region," I note. "Occipital Lobe's clean, too."

"Crap," Alex swears. He is sure invested in this case.

"Told you, crazy!" I love being right.

Derek agrees, "We tried, Karev. All tests are negative. Let's go inform the parents and turf her up to psych."

We head for the door.

"Look, this isn't right." Alex protests. "I know crazy. I-I grew up with crazy. I dated crazy. And I don't think this girl is crazy. Just give me some time."

"Do you have a specific diagnosis in mind?" Derek asks.

"No, but-"

"She's suicidal, Alex." I reply. "What you did in the ER...you saved her life. But, those parents have been through hell."

"Look, you say it's our job to advocate for the patient," Alex retorts. "The patient, not the parents. So whatever hell they've gone through, hers is worse."

I think about what he said, and then say to Derek, "I do say that, 'advocate for the patient.'"

Derek looks at Karev. "You've got until my board meeting is over." He points at him, "four hours. Go dig."

We leave him alone. I hope for Haley's sake that Karev finds out what is really wrong with her.

I smile at Karev as he explains the condition to Haley's parents. It turns out he was right- she's not crazy. Karev sure is learning. I'm proud of him and know that if he keeps this up, he's going to be an amazing doctor one day.

"It's rare and it's hard to diagnose," Alex clarifies, "The condition wasn't even written up until 1998. The noise sensitivity, the sandpaper, it's because Haley could hear everything going on inside her body. And every sound outside was magnified. That's why she couldn't sleep or eat. She's not schizophrenic."

I smile up at him as he finishes. I couldn't be more proud.

* * *

**Callie's POV:**

Later, Lexie and I are finally in the OR doing surgery on Betty. Just before we brought her in, Henry asked her to move in with him and she turned him down.

"Wow, impressive technique," I compliment Lexie. "Who taught you that?"

"Mark," she replies. "He taught me one-handed ties, mattress stitches, dual onlay bone grafts." She snickers. "Now, he can teach his techniques to Reed."

"Lexie..." I begin, pity in my voice.

"It's fine. I'm fine. I don't care," she assures me. "I'm with Alex. I do not care about Mark, and/or who he sleeps with." She tries to smile.

"That's the same thing I keep telling myself about Arizona, that I don't care. And you know what? Sometimes, it works, for the most part. But, then, a patient gets asked to move across the country for a man she barely knows, and all I can think is how stupid they were to let each other go in the first place."

I sigh and shake my head. It's too late now, you let Arizona go already.

I exhale deeply. "All I want is for her to change her mind and say yes. I want to believe."

But it's no use. Arizona knows what she wants and she definitely knows that she doesn't want kids. That just also means that she can't be with me.

* * *

**Arizona's POV:**

I let Alex assist Derek with the surgery, while I supervise him.

"Okay, time to close off the canal," Derek informs Alex.

"You're using a fascia and bone wax?" Karev takes this opportunity to learn as much as he can.

"Yep, and then we'll cover it with the cortical bone wax we've harvested and seal it with the fibrin glue." Derek replies. "She'll be good as new."

"You cover a hole with a bone graft, and this girl gets her whole life back. Wouldn't it be nice if everything in life were that simple?" I ask retorically, thinking of Callie.

* * *

**Callie's POV:**

After the surgery, I page Mark to meet me in the residents' lounge. He gets there before I do.

As I stalk inside, I say, "talk to her."

"I just did!" He replies, "she doesn't want to!"

"No, I'm not talking about Teddy," I clarify. "I'm talking about Lexie. You still love Lexie!"

He makes a face.

"And sleeping around isn't going to fix that," I continue. "And the reasons you broke up, Little Sloan and the baby, they're not reasons anymore."

"She's with Karev." Well, at least he's somewhat noble.

"Yeah, well, Betty married Mike, but she never got over Henry." I retort, referring to my patient and her story.

He stares at me blankly. "What?"

"Look," I explain, "You don't want fifty years to go by and then realize that you let the love of your life get away. So go. Try." I motion towards the door.

"You gonna try again with Robbins?"

Damn. I should have known he wouldn't let me be a hypocrite about advice like this.

I sigh and look down. He bends his head and tries to make eye contact with me.

"Why not?" he challenges.

I look up at him. "Because my reasons are still reasons."

He gently kisses my forehead and pulls me into a much-needed hug.

* * *

**Arizona's POV:**

After we finish with Haley's surgery, we wait for her to awaken. I sure hope the surgery worked.

Finally, her eyes flutter open as the anesthesia wears off.

"She's starting to wake up," I alert the parents. "Remember, we're going to take it slowly and see how it goes. There's no guarantee that the surgery worked."

"How you doing, Haley?" Karev asks.

"I'm good," Haley whispers, amazed.

She tries moving her joints. "I'm good!" she says again. "I'm good. Oh, my God. I'm good." She smiles. "I'm good!"

I smile at Karev. He was good today, too.

* * *

**Callie's POV:**

Finally, a little after ten, I get ready to go home. I change my clothes and look forward to a night of rest and sleep. Today was too much to handle, between everyone's drama, seeing Arizona, and hearing a story that renews my views of love, a little.

I get on the elevator and push the button for the parking lot.

* * *

**Arizona's POV:**

After I finish talking to Haley's family, I finally change out of my scrubs. I can't wait to get home. Today was a long day. All I can think about is how amazing it is that this girl's life can easily go back to normal after our surgery. How great is that? It's also unfair, though, in a way. I wish that someone could do a surgery on me that would make me want kids. I wish that surgery could fix everything.

I make my way towards the elevator on the third floor.

* * *

**Callie's POV:**

The other people on the elevator all get off on the third floor, and I'm left inside alone. That is, until I see Arizona walk in.

* * *

**Arizona's POV:**

I wait for people to get off, and then I walk in. As I'm almost inside, I spot Callie standing by the back wall. Shit. It's too late to turn back now.

"Hey," I smile at her.

"Hey," she breathes out in response.

I turn away from her and let out the breath I've been holding since I stepped inside the elevator. God, this ride to the parking lot feels like it's taking all of eternity.

I hear Callie exhale. "Arizona..." she breathes.

Before I know it, I've turned around and I'm crushing my lips on hers. I desperately clutch her cheek, holding onto any part of her that I can. I kiss her passionately. I can't stop myself. I miss her and want her and love her and can't say it. It wouldn't be fair.

I look into her beautiful brown eyes. I lean in to kiss her again, but pull away as the elevator dings. I walk out to the parking lot as quickly as I can.

* * *

**Callie's POV:**

As I watch the doors close after Arizona walks out of the elevator, I lean back against the back wall. I miss her. I miss her. I miss her.


End file.
